Controlling Empathy

Some people can block things out through mediation, but beyond a certain level of ability; shielding seems to be highly recommended, and absolutely necessary for some. It does work if properly applied, but in my experience filtering shields need a slightly more advanced architecture than the standard shield designs. It can take some tinkering to get a good filtering shield going.

When I was practiciing magick I would try to use them but I don't think I did it right since they seemed to not work. I'll read up on it and see what I need to do to make one the right way. Thanks for replying!

Shields are handy and I tend to use it if someone is broadcasting very strongly. Really, what you could do is learn to tell from your emotion and other's and try not to let it change you. That would solve all problems.

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]I've always had trouble controlling my empathy. If I'm around angry people I really get nervous. If I'm in a store then I feel like there's a blanket wrapped around me and when going around certain people I will get depressed, mad or scared. I'm quite a sight really. I usually have to walk around watching the ground and frequently changing directions.

I've heard that people can control what they pick up. There have been times where I've meditated before going into public and focused on one thing to block them out. But if I stay in a store for more than several minutes (sometimes less) I will start feeling the effects.

If anyone has any ideas, or know from experience, about controlling these emotions I'd appreciate your help.

Hey there. You are right to want to have a level of protection. I have felt the same empathic experiences that you have. I'm not going to give you one of those "it's both a blessing and a curse" messages, but the duality is significant to acknowledge and deal with, for it IS one of those (at least for me) issues that will not just go away. I have literally felt people's anger, discontent, anger, frustration, but also happiness and joy, so it's all part of the same package. I think of it as having an additional state of awareness, so to me it's worth it.

So what to do about it?

From what I've read/learned/experienced, different magick traditions and also shamanic traditions recommend psychic shields.

But what kind?

There exists a very old method. Works well for me. As you may know, the color blue, especially "robin egg", which is (I hate that I have to refer to colors like "baby girl pink" *puke*) thought of as very calming, psychically-connected, and also very protective. See that light color blue. Now visualize the protective color forming an invincible egg around you.

Yes. I know. It probably does sound absurd at first, but believe me, it works. It's an object that is fairly easy to visualize, your mind should be able to call to mind the image of an egg, I mean we've all seen hundreds or even thousands of eggs in our lifetime.

As a "reinforcement" exercise for your shielding, imagine that objects are being thrown at your egg and that you mentally deflect (via bouncing off of your impenetrable egg) them without any effort. If you can't visualize the objects or emotional "intrusions" just bouncing off the surface of your egg, see yourself swatting away the unwanted emotion/empathic feeling. This "add-on" will "give" you and your (egg) shield more confidence and therefore reliable defensive strength.

As for the side effects that you speak of, I believe that may well have to do with your chi. I've read a few other threads on this site and it seems to be a reoccurring issue. When I was first looking for my own kind of protective aura boost, I would often feel different, random (often "negative") side effects, wanting to put all of my energy in to some sort of defensive mechanism. I found that I was trying too hard, and that finally when I started using the blue egg to protect myself, the worry about imminent psychic paranoia/interference/attack seemed to melt away. I would say that, at least for me, when I tried to block out one or another of my senses (which is what you may or may not be doing) it gave me drawbacks, physically and psychically manifested as said "side effects." At certain times (purposefully or not) our senses are numbed, but to cut them off just isn't a good idea.

You may or may not be able to relate to this, but all I'm saying is just try to acknowledge that you are (perhaps very much more) sensitive to people and their emotions and that you should believe in your innate abilities to protect yourself. If you ARE comfortable with the concept, try the blue egg, remembering that NOTHING can get in to your space unless you expressly allow it to. As for the "LEVEL" of protection, if wanted to know the difference between "stronger" and "weaker" protectorates, the blue egg is VERY strong and protective.

Most of all - believe in yourself. I KNEW THAT I KNEW, and so can you.

That sounds like a not too bad way to make a mirror shield. As such it probably should work if implemented right.

Actually, that sounds like a really good idea with many psionic attempts - the colour thingie. Cause you have a point - certain colours make you think of certain things, like the robin's egg blue in your example, etc. If you could pick out those certain colours, and incorporate them into psionic constructs, it could probably help achieve better results... crimson psi-ball anyone?

It's a little more complicated than that. When making a construct, the entire visualization can have a positive or negative effect on the success based on how you feel about it. Certain shapes, colors, and texturing all play into it. But it's individualized, what may work for someone else won't necessarily work for you if you have different beliefs/personality/etc. There are some concepts that are more likely to be shared as a valued idea by a group of people: these are the ones that you'll commonly hear stated as "the" thing to use. But it is a big jump to take something that is commonly applicable and call it universal. That's something people always should be mindful of. The particular case in this topic however is so commonly applicable that it can be called near-universal, as blue in general is a color commonly associated with powerful psychic energy in both reality and fiction (look at my avatar ). The large majority of people would be able to attach some meaning to that visualization.

i have a similar problem that i still have yet to determine exactly what it is or how to control it.

basically i send empathic links to everyone around me, and they dont just make me "feel" with them but also put me in a position where i were to lose them as a friend (or something similar) then it would sort of flare up (not really, but its hard to explain) and hurt inside. i also cant do anything to harm somebody (not just physically) even if i really wanted to. it also happens with non-human objects too, i cant stand to see something thrown away (a scrap of paper) without cringing inside.

its a curse now, but when i learn to control it, it'll work to my advantage. any tips?

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]i have a similar problem that i still have yet to determine exactly what it is or how to control it.

basically i send empathic links to everyone around me, and they dont just make me "feel" with them but also put me in a position where i were to lose them as a friend (or something similar) then it would sort of flare up (not really, but its hard to explain) and hurt inside. i also cant do anything to harm somebody (not just physically) even if i really wanted to. it also happens with non-human objects too, i cant stand to see something thrown away (a scrap of paper) without cringing inside.

its a curse now, but when i learn to control it, it'll work to my advantage. any tips?

Actually, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you DO know what it is, because in your OWN words....
"basically i send empathic links to everyone around me," - because that would be, well, empathic ability.
You just need to learn how to develop/work on it.
My suggestion, at this point, would be that you probably don't want to increase the intensity of the empathy, when you are trying to make the empathic connection. Does that make sense? Let me be more specific. In other words, don't mix up your attempts at trying to project your empathic abilities with trying to exert your abilities. So, allow yourself to be able to feel what others are feeling, but don't over exert yourself, thereby "overdoing" it.

I'm bad with metaphors, but let me try anyway.

Imagine that if you could hug someone, you could actually feel what they are feeling. Let's also assume that if you hugged them TOO hard, then you would be overwhelmed with their emotions, flooding your empathic perception. So, in other words, you want to "hug" anyone (including your friends) with just the right amount of "strength." I hope that helps. It seems, and I hope this doesn't confuse the metaphor I just gave, but the "flare up and hurt inside" may very well be the same thing with yourself. Don't allow others emotions to "hug" YOU too much. But this is where the psychic shield (blue egg) comes in. Utilize the blue egg, or whatever color is right for YOU, in order to "filter" or "block" out what would otherwise be too overwhelming, which is apparently what you are experiencing.

Probably just that you HAPPENED to gave the crumbled paper example, but it might very well be that you see it as a waste of resources, or something along those lines. In this case, you may very well be feeling yourself, "hugging" yourself too hard. But of course this part may very well be me projecting my thoughts too much. I mean, I'm big on recycling and resource conservation...so..hehe....might just be my own idea.

One last idea. I know, IF you are still having a hard time with your current ability, I might suggest that you don't think of your ability as a "curse," because what we think in our own heads about ourselves, is how we hold/project ourselves in to the world/out experience of ourself within our own world, specifically, our self-perception. Most of all, if you have fun with it, it may very well "flow" a lot smoother, and you may have an experience in which you find that, all of the sudden, you are comfortable with what you are experiencing. Again, maybe a bad metaphor, but swimming with the waves is a lot easier than trying to swim against them.

Practice broadcasting your own emotions more. All I ever see on dealing with empathy overload is about shielding. A large part of empathic sending is learning to force an emotion onto yourself. I have dealt with overloads, and I know how much they suck. I'm not exactly a natural, so mine probably weren't as bad as yours, however if you can achieve a certain level of sending ability, you can set yourself on to sending out a constant wave of calm and collected emotion, which will effect you, and those around you, which does a number of things for you. For one, it helps strengthen your empathic sending, since you'd be using it all the time. For two, it makes people easier to deal with(since people tend to get out of control really easy). For three, it'll help block out overloads, so you don't have to suffer as much in public.

I'd suggest using a shield/broadcast combo, lessening the shields as your broadcasting gets stronger. Eventually you'd look to have little to no shielding (I'd suggest always keeping at least a frame up, as a backup in case of emergency basically, but one that takes almost no maintenance and energy)

Such broadcasting is bordering on a lot of the ethics questions that usually come up when discussing Telepathic Suggestion. Is it really right to be constantly changing the way people around you feel? That aside I've never heard of using something like this to block overloads, although you noted you're not as strong as some other empaths. I know some really strong ones so I'll talk to them about this and post back later.

It's empathy, not telepathic suggestion. And it's only in your immediate vicinity. However it's not the perfect idea, as it'd take alot of energy to broadcast constantly. I just suck at shielding, and so I had to work around that.

Alright scorch, I got in touch with Devils Advocate (most of you probably don't know her, but she's an incredibly strong empath) and in response to Scorch's post here's what she said:

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]It's crude but possible. But think of it this way... It's the psionic equivalent of putting your fingers in your ears and shouting at the top of your lungs and stomping your feet so you can't hear the noise around you. Pretty good at blanking out what you're hearing... but it ain't gonna do NOTHING for the headache (Bad grammar deliberate for emphasis), you're just giving it to yourself, instead of someone else giving it to you. Doesn't exactly solve the problem. It also gets less and less effective the more complicated and louder the noise pattern is. I've tried it and found it an utterly inefficient waste of time. Now if you can project something CALM enough to get everyone back on an emotional even keel it can be effective, but that is exhausting. I had to add that technique to my arsenal about 3 years ago. It works alright on a small group of people but it gets exponentially harder the larger a group you have to affect.

I'm going to assume that Scorch's technique might work for him if he's not as sensitive, less feelings to block out and all. The exhausting aspect of this I kind of expected, that's probably going to be an issue for a lot of people.

Or do what I've suggested early in the thread and learn to separate and control your own emotions so that you feel other's emotions outside. I've managed to do that. I feel emotions on the surface so to speak and it doesn't bother me at all as I can just shrug it off and move on.

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--][!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]
Longish nested quote goes here, read it for yourself
Ok, I'm making an example out of this. DO NOT QUOTE WHOLE 2+ PARAGRAPH POSTS. It is useless, and about as helpful as me writing this.

i understood the metaphors fine, thanks for the advice though and ill have to start practicing right away

but my main problem is to stop making the links all the time, or is the shield for that? i think that because im using the empathy so much it might be hindering my potential in other things.

Shields can stop links but they have to specifically told to do so. It also helps if you know how to break links directly.

Edit: This is huge. I'm editing it for readability. -- Vulc

I've always had trouble controlling my empathy. If I'm around angry people, I get really nervous. If I'm in a store then I feel like there's a blanket wrapped around me, and when around certain people I will get depressed, mad or scared. I'm quite a sight really. I usually have to walk around watching the ground and frequently changing directions.

I've heard that people can control what they pick up. There have been times where I've meditated before going into public, and have focused on one thing to block them out. But if I stay in a store for more than several minutes (sometimes less), I will start feeling the effects.

If anyone has any ideas, or know from experience, about controlling these emotions I'd appreciate your help.

[I have no idea what happened here, it sounds like you're two different people... Or another mod got to you first, but it doesn't look like.]

Hey there. You are right to want a level of protection. I have felt the same empathic experiences that you have. I'm not going to give you one of those "it's both a blessing and a curse" messages, but the duality is significant to acknowledge and deal with, for it IS one of those (at least for me) issues that will not just go away. I have literally felt people's anger, discontent, anger, frustration, but also happiness and joy, so it's all part of the same package. I think of it as having an additional state of awareness, so to me it's worth it.

So what to do about it?

From what I've read/learned/experienced, different magick traditions and also shamanic traditions recommend psychic shields.

But what kind?

There exists a very old method. Works well for me. As you may know, the color blue, especially "robin egg", which is (I hate that I have to refer to colors like "baby girl pink" *puke*) thought of as very calming, psychically-connected, and also very protective. See that light color blue. Now visualize the protective color forming an invincible egg around you.

Yes. I know. It probably does sound absurd at first, but believe me, it works. It's an object that is fairly easy to visualize, your mind should be able to call to mind the image of an egg, I mean we've all seen hundreds or even thousands of eggs in our lifetime.

As a "reinforcement" exercise for your shielding, imagine that objects are being thrown at your egg and that you mentally deflect (via bouncing off of your impenetrable egg) them without any effort. If you can't visualize the objects or emotional "intrusions" just bouncing off the surface of your egg, see yourself swatting away the unwanted emotion/empathic feeling. This "add-on" will "give" you and your (egg) shield more confidence and therefore reliable defensive strength.

As for the side effects that you speak of, I believe that may well have to do with your chi. I've read a few other threads on this site and it seems to be a reoccurring issue. When I was first looking for my own kind of protective aura boost, I would often feel different, random (often "negative") side effects, wanting to put all of my energy in to some sort of defensive mechanism. I found that I was trying too hard, and that finally when I started using the blue egg to protect myself, the worry about imminent psychic paranoia/interference/attack seemed to melt away. I would say that, at least for me, when I tried to block out one or another of my senses (which is what you may or may not be doing) it gave me drawbacks, physically and psychically manifested as said "side effects." At certain times (purposefully or not) our senses are numbed, but to cut them off just isn't a good idea.

You may or may not be able to relate to this, but all I'm saying is just try to acknowledge that you are (perhaps very much more) sensitive to people and their emotions and that you should believe in your innate abilities to protect yourself. If you ARE comfortable with the concept, try the blue egg, remembering that NOTHING can get in to your space unless you expressly allow it to. As for the "LEVEL" of protection, if wanted to know the difference between "stronger" and "weaker" protectorates, the blue egg is VERY strong and protective.

Most of all - believe in yourself. I KNEW THAT I KNEW, and so can you. Cheesy

i understood the metaphors fine, thanks for the advice though and ill have to start practicing right away

but my main problem is to stop making the links all the time, or is the shield for that? i think that because im using the empathy so much it might be hindering my potential in other things.

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]Shields can stop links but they have to specifically told to do so. It also helps if you know how to break links directly.

I think, if I understand InnerFire properly, that part of the "KNOW THAT YOU KNOW," is well, KNOWING. What I mean to say is that part of TRULY believing in yourself is that you believe that you can believe and know that you can know. Does that make sense? I hope it does. If you know that you know, that's just fine. It won't make your shield less protective, because that is part of the belief in yourself. Boy, I just think I ran my self aground, semantically speaking...hehehe......that's awkward.

Let me try again. So, you know that you know that you can protect yourself with said blue egg-shaped shield, right? Make sure that you truly believe in yourself. Are you with me so far? ....are you sure??? ....GOOD. I'm glad for you. What works, at least for me, is that you focus not "hard," but that you close your eyes and find that sensation that tells you that you are "allright." It's that, again at least for me, that fuzzy feeling at the front of your head, where the 'third' eye should be. It's a bit intuitive...look for it WITHIN you...IT IS DEFINETLY THERE!!!!

I hope you are making the connection at this point. hehehehehe...this is where the energy focuses, for me, the energy of concentration that comes from meditating enough. I'm not sure, and this is where several people may very well disagree with me, and that's COOL, but for me it's where the universe allows me/anyone else to focus my/their energy (in their own energy fields) for whatever given reason. I believe in Karma and all that, but that very well may be a side/non-existent issue for you, so PLEASE use your OWN judgment. SO, there you are, allowing yourself to calmly collect whatever energy vibes are RIGHT FOR YOU, and you come to a point where the energy tingles your spirit/aura/'third' eye/meditating self that you can concentrate, for, at least I hope, for the right reason, in this case, spiritual/psychic protection. At this point, visualize that blue egg. FEEL YOURSELF in the egg. You can outstretch your psychic and physical self, you FEEL at ONE with yourself and the universe and as you awake, and in the process your third/psychic eye wakes up, you can 'see' the blue egg around you, as you ABSOLUTELY KNOW that NO ONE can TOUCH YOU in the SLIGHTEST unless you EXPRESSLY decree it within yourself. ...........Boy oh boy....I've really gone out on a limb....I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hope this was a help for you....I'm not sure that I can express myself anymore clearly.

As you ORIGINALLY asked...hehe....boy I may have gone on a BIT, YOUR energy is you OWN. YOU decide what to do with it. Part of the "knowing that you know," is that you can cut off any bad/unwanted vibes AT WILL. It's REALLY as clear cut as that. You are the judge and jury, if I can use that cliche......IF YOU DON'T WANT IT....THAN DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT. Understand? I hope so, REALLY I do. It took me, and I AM SERIOUSLY NOT EXAGGERATING, that I spend LITERALLY YEARS figuring that I have control over it, and I wish to spare other people the crazy experience/not cool psychic pain (again just MY experience) of loss of control/pain/disorientation...even though I realize and acknowledge that part of who we are is what we have experienced....."We are the sum of all of out experiences." ...and all that jazz. YOU WILL NOT make the "links" if you DON'T WANT TO, understand? It's part belief in yourself...and perhaps just a bit of self-discipline.

As you asked.....the shield is to HELP...but mostly to KEEP AWAY future unwanted/needless/(hopefully)rare psychic attacks. If you KNOW THAT YOU KNOW, which is what I keep repeating, then most of unwanted energy/(again hopefully) rare pain is "bounced off,"/dissipated, but the fact of the matter is that the shield will keep anything away that you do NOT want. But the BOTTOM LINE is that it's all about BELIEF IN YOURSELF. Whew....I hope that helped...hehehe....I'm exasperated. :D

It's a little more than knowledge: with shielding there's some things that programming typically won't handle without special attention paid. For instance even with the instructions "block all incoming constructs and telepathic projections," for whatever reason links might still be ignored. You might get lucky and have them blocked, but a lot of people have to *specifically* say in their programming to block links if that's what they want. It's some kind of subconscious consideration (or lack thereof) I guess.

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]It's a little more than knowledge: with shielding there's some things that programming typically won't handle without special attention paid. For instance even with the instructions "block all incoming constructs and telepathic projections," for whatever reason links might still be ignored. You might get lucky and have them blocked, but a lot of people have to *specifically* say in their programming to block links if that's what they want. It's some kind of subconscious consideration (or lack thereof) I guess.

I guess not even responding to what you said....but this is a combination of mine and some other people's comments....they are pretty intertwined....just so you and everyone else knows...not quite sure how they got so mixed up.

That post is a mess! Mods, what happened there?
Anyway what do religious and shamanic practices have to do with this? To me it seems you need to shield. Try blocking both: incoming links, projections and outcoming. I am not an Empath, just know few similiar cases. Usually its blocking incoming links and projeations, though you might be the one making the links without knowing it...

If this is basically what that mess said, then sorry for repeiting it. Just trying to help .

We wanted to lock the topic, but then we got high.
We wanted to delete some posts, but then we got high, then we got high, then we got high.

In all seriousness, religion/shamanism has nothing to do with this. Its just entertaining.

I don't know what WeAre1 is smoking, but I want some. Esp. if it makes me write that much.

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]I don't know what WeAre1 is smoking, but I want some. Esp. if it makes me write that much.

*Discreetly passes Vulc a baggie*

[!--quoteo--][div class='quotetop']QUOTE [/div][div class='quotemain'][!--quotec--]I've always had trouble controlling my empathy. If I'm around angry people I really get nervous. If I'm in a store then I feel like there's a blanket wrapped around me and when going around certain people I will get depressed, mad or scared. I'm quite a sight really. I usually have to walk around watching the ground and frequently changing directions.

I've heard that people can control what they pick up. There have been times where I've meditated before going into public and focused on one thing to block them out. But if I stay in a store for more than several minutes (sometimes less) I will start feeling the effects.

If anyone has any ideas, or know from experience, about controlling these emotions I'd appreciate your help.

Same thing happens to me. I can't quite get a grip on it. That's one of the reasons I won't go outside or in a public place. I'm afraid of too many people in one place, especially a small place.

Mmm, this topic has gone too far off the deep end. I'm going to lock it until I can clean it up or something, because this is absurd.