redefine's blog

i'm still not as accurate as i'd like with my scanning.
it seems that its hard for me to concentrate on the act of scanning, while still keeping in mind my goal, enough for it to matter.

the best example is cards, picture cards fuck me up, i just cant seem to get them. the combination of colors on the one card just catch me out. and its hard, cause when we're talking about color or suit, its easier to scan the whole card, cause most of the cards are only printed in one colour, and have the suit all over them. but it happens in other areas too, nearly everytime i am sure i have done scanning in a real world situation, it has been useless, because when i have kept the goal in mind, i havent been focussed enough on the actual scan, and it hasnt worked. or the opposite, and i've focussed too much on the scan, rather then the goal, and i've scanned something which is at that point, meaningless. for example, scanning the side of the card facing me (its happened before), or where there's lots of information, i lose sight of what i'm doing really easily.

i need to make zener cards.

if i do that, there is enough differentiation between them to not have to worry about goal untill i get better at it. and i can make them with nothing else but the signs on them.

oh well, i'm sure i'll get it eventually.

first time doing pk in a while, i chose dice, and i tried to force a 6 in all dice thrown.
i threw 6 lots of 4 dice, resulting in trials of 24 dice, i did that in groups of six, which we can call major groups, and i did 6 major groups. this resulted in 864 rolls of the dice

my best result out of 24 was 9, which corresponds to a probability of .011, or 85 to 1 against. i also got 3 8's, which had a probability of .035, or 28 to one against. both of these are significant. so we do know there is an effect.

the expected total dice throws based on a probability of .16666 were 144, but the total observed was 188. this results in a probability of .0000614. which is really significant.

so i am definitely doing pk, i just need to make the effect [quite a bit] bigger

(btw, significant dosent mean the effect is big, just that it is definately there)

the individual results for the major groups out of 144 was:
28, 33, 30, 30, 31, 36.

the mean out of 24 was 4, and the mean out of 144 was 24 (i shouldnt use so many sixes )

i dont know what it is, but somehow, i cant just get away from psionics. it kinda surrounds me. i dont mean that as in i have a natural talent, read on. i have been busy this semester and have been really unable to practice, but there has been subtle reminders that psionics is there and that i SHOULD be doing it, and one of the things i have really been looking forward to in terms of finishing this semester, is the ammount of time i can spend on psionics (yeah, it wont be 27/7 but it'l be a hell of a lot better then mid semester).

but what fascinates me the most is how much i cant forget about it. and how much it seems like there is some force 'compelling' me to practice it. the more i dont practice, the more i want to, and the more i do practice, the more i wanna keep going. i have tried to find a reason not to practice psionics, and have failed, and i have not practiced or even visited this site for a while, but still i cannot forget about it.

its just annoying that sometimes i just dont get the time between other things

so for now, hurrah for the holidays and more practice!

holy shit i've been busy

i've tried practicing on the fly, but i've literally had no time to sit down and dedicate time to practicing.

this past week has been the worst, i brought a car, did 2 massive assignments, worked on my robot (yes, i have to build a robot for uni), learned how to drive manual (yay), all while going to uni, work, 2 bands, and a girlfriend. and let me tell you, that dosent leave much time to yourself

but i'm not dead, not by a long shot, and i will get more time in a few weeks. and thats when i'm gonna start the hardcore stuff (psiwheel, dice, cards, energy. lol. hardcore). in the mean time, i'm gonna have to settle with practicing on the fly.

on second thoughts, i'm gonna take a week to decide why i actually wanna do psionics in the first place, then i'll continue with the previous plan

edit: well...i realised i've learned more about myself since i've gotten into psionics then any other hobby in my life, and its damn cool, and its something interesting about the world which i still dont know much about. i started psionics to find out if it REALLY exists or not, when i found out it did, i had achieved my goal, and lost motivation, fast. this is probably the cause of my slump.
now i've got my reasons back, i can finally concentrate on getting awesome, and learning more, about myself, and the world around me.

yay.

ok, so i've had the flu, and my slump, which has lead to a couple of weeks break, so i really feel like i'm starting psionics again. anyway, it'll be a good experience.

so heres what i'm gonna do:
meditate for at least half an hour every night.
wherever i go, try to be aware of, and manipulate my field.
reread all the pk/awareness/obe/healing/EM and rv articles i can.
practice as much as i can (this one is abit hard, cause sometimes i dont exactly have time, but i'll try)

so hopefully, before long, i'll be better then i was before.

goals:
1. record significant results while micropking with dice
2. be generally more aware.
3. record significant rv results again
4. practice more EM
5. work towards OBE
6. try healing when something goes wrong.
7. do something with macropk. like the psiwheel, can or flame

no.s 1, 3, 7, and 5 are pretty easy to verify, but i'm sure i'll know when i've achieved no. 2. no. 4 is just a practice goal, so i'm not focused on varification untill i *think* i'm better at it. 6, is the same.

yay for motivation.

well. i'm having my first slump

i was trying some micropk on some dice with some moderate success. rving, while not completely broken, is not as good as before.

i dont know what happened, but somehow, even given my past success with rv and pk, i'm finding it extremely hard to believe in my own skills. and that makes it really hard to practice EM (or any micro-pk where you have to wait to see the outcome, which is often in everyday life)

does anyone have any advice?

yeah, this was a kinda stupid post. went around in circles and wasnt relevant. so there we go.